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I've had little luck in the chemistry or "sparks" department with anyone, so I'm curious. On the plus side, I've unintentionally become an alcohol connoisseur. All the bar dates have caused me to know the best drinks and the best bars.

Oh my god how did you keep up such an insane dating effort? I would get everyone confused and wouldn't be able to give anyone the attention they deserve. Within 10 seconds of walking up to the restaurant, I knew I wanted to bang him. Within 10 minutes, I knew it was mutual. I have to say this is my experience as a guy as well - I pretty much immediately know if there is physical attraction. Pictures are a reasonable predictor, but sometimes you meet in person and it's not the same not counting the obviously misleading pictures ; in person, it's obvious, and it's obvious if the feeling is mutual.

Honestly, this still happens to me, even though I'm happily married and definitely not looking; I meet women where I have that kind of chemistry and can tell it's mutual, though nothing is said or done about it. I know on the first date whether I want a second, and on the second whether I want to take it further. But the best relationships I've had were with people with whom I knew within five minutes of meeting them that we'd mesh. Granted, meeting such people is rare, like once every couple of years. Met my wife on Match; first date, over coffee, we clicked. That was four years, a marriage and a kid ago.

I have had several LTRs from online dating OKC and Match and in nearly every case, I knew, pretty much immediately if there was any attraction chemistry or sparks ; it would take dates generally to figure out if we got on personality-wise. In all cases where there was an LTR, we were in bed by the 3rd date.

How did you end the date? Did you make another date then or did you have contact after to set it up?

THE GLANCE

By saying something to the effect of "wow, I guess we really need to go" and "sorry for the insane overshare on the first date. Yes, right then; I said something like "well, if I haven't scared you off, then I'd love to get together again - how about a hike we are both serious back country backpackers and had discussed that on the date this coming weekend? However, she called me like two days later and said, "hey why don't we meet for a glass of wine to make plans for our hike?


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When you meet the right person, things are just easy. I don't believe in Romantic Fairy Tales or "The One", but I do think that if your relationship, especially early on, takes a lot of constant work, then you're probably not with someone you should round up to one cf. I met my ex on a chat room, from there, it was a bit long, around weeks, I can't recall, it was exam season, eventually met and straight off from there, but during those weeks, we counted them as together as we had discussed it and wasn't seeing others.

chemistry VS compatibility in love & dating - MAKEUP & STORYTIME - Melanie Murphy

Well, it was a week or so prior, stupid, I know, but it lasted 8 or so months and really only ended because of her uni. My current man, I met him about 6 weeks after my first Okc date. I was his first ever Okc date he had gone in one or two tinder dates before me.

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My very first Okc date I had amazing chemistry with, he and I are still in touch and care about each other a lot. I have an easy time connecting with people in general not just dating though. I'm friendly and outgoing and am the sort of person people open up to. I'm assuming this translates to dates as well.

How chemistry decides the success of a first date

I actually met a girl from miles away and had such an amazing "spark" that we ended up in a relationship. We approached the situation as friends first. Six months later, we decided that relationshipping would be a good idea. One of my biggest successes that allowed me to find love with my man, Tim, was getting the answer to what was going on with me that had led to so many breakups.

This assessment gave me that answer, and from there it was easy. I was able to work on that issue and move forward in creating my love life with an amazing man. The information you will learn in the Dating Success Assessment is unique to your situation, and going through that process was exactly how I was able to do a in my love life and find the man of my dreams! You can find out more about it here. As always, I wanna hear from you.

Leave a comment below. And share this blog with your friends. Crack the dating code with the information you can use right away — before you go on another date! Sign up here and get access to all of my. We respect your privacy. We will never share your information. If you do not feel any chemistry but suspect that the two of you may become friends, try making that suggestion. If you do this, be absolutely clear that all you want is friendship. It is possible that this may not be an option if the other person is attracted to you.

However if the other person shares your idea, you might have found a great new friend out of a bad date.

Compatibility and Chemistry in Relationships | Mark Manson

Do you think we could be friends? Some people may feel just as rejected if you suggest that the two of you become friends. It is also possible that your lack of chemistry may mean that you do not even have enough in common to become friends. Reject the possibility of future dates. If the other person is interested in a second date, you should politely decline either after the first date or later on. You do not need to provide a concrete reason. I think you are a great person, but I do not think we are a match. Check for signs of chemistry. Chemistry is not scientific.

It is not something that can be identified or be developed between two people. However, psychological studies have provided some insights as to what chemistry is made of. It includes non-judgment, similarity, mystery, attraction, mutual trust, and effortless communication. But you may want to take a moment to consider what you have in common with the person and determine whether chemistry is really lacking. Try asking yourself some simple questions to determine if you have chemistry with someone.

For example, you might ask, am I attracted to this person? Do we have things in common? Do we share values and beliefs? Do I want to know more about this person? Is it easy to talk to this person? If your answer is yes to any of these questions, then there might be something there. While it is a good idea to search your feelings before you decide that this date is going nowhere, you should not try to force chemistry to develop either.

If you do not feel attracted or interested in someone, then that will probably not change. Arrive at the date with few expectations and an open mind. Do not let pre-conceived notions about the person, the date spot, or anything else pre-shape your opinion of the other person. This can interfere with how you determine whether there is any chemistry between the two of you. Excitement and anticipation are fine, but judgement and expectations are not. It is critical that you do not make a judgement before the date begins or the instant the date begins.

Reflect upon your initial impressions to find out if you have physical chemistry. Psychologists and relationship experts claim that you can recognize physical chemistry almost immediately. One of the most important factors for physical chemistry is sexual attraction. If you find yourself attracted to a person during the first moments of your meeting, then there is a good chance that physical chemistry can develop.

Compatibility vs Chemistry

If there was no initial attraction, there is a good chance physical chemistry may never exist between the two of you. Consider if the two of you are compatible based on conversation.


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Compatibility takes a little longer to recognize than physical chemistry, and it can only be discovered through conversation and interaction. Compatibility is about common values, similar life goals, being comfortable with one another, shared experiences and having fun together. Compatibility is essential for the development of a healthy and long-lasting relationship.